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RULE: Never appear to have an agenda. We all have goals; therefore, we all have agendas, but men want to believe in the fantasy that they fell in love and that you fell in love with them. The minute you start conveying a plan or reveal early on that you really want to get married and have children soon, you're dead in the water. Men want to be loved for who they are, as they are and think that everything just developed from the start. Not that it was planned for ahead of time. Otherwise, men have no reason to get into relationships at all. He has to find something in you that is different from all the others he's dated that keeps him coming back.
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RULE: Guys take you at your word. If you tell a Guy early on that you aren't interested in a relationship, 6 months later when you decided (probably without telling him) that you really do want one, he'll still be in the 'f-buddy/screw pal' mode. You have to have discussed it with him as you've progressed. If you are too afraid of the answer, then you are just delaying the inevitable.
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RULE: Where women lie about their age and weight, men lie about their height and the size of other things. Not a big deal, I suppose but at least you understand that men have their own insecurities that are petty and downright stupid just like the ladies have. I knew a guy once who was so insecure about his small feet that he wore work boots 2 sizes too large and several pairs of socks to fill the loose space. -Weird, right?
RULE: Men are stimulated visually. I've said it ten million times. It's what we see that first sets our wheels in motion and gets the juices flowing. The entire package and the packaging. A man decides in less than a second upon a mere glance at a woman:
"She's attractive!" or "She's not attractive."
It's as simple as that. You know the old saying,
"You only get one chance to make a first impression."
Well, it was never as true as it is in the dating world. Before you go crucifying men in general, it's really not our fault. It's all biology and anthropology, shaken not stirred. Don't fight it and don't sulk; get the necessary stuff and get in the game. Any woman can make herself more attractive.
Note: Attractive is by no means limited to a certain height weight ratio, hair-eye color combination. The range of what's considered attractive is a lot wider than you may think.
RULE: Don't Move too fast with keys, gifts, expectations, hanging couple photos, moving in stuff, marking territory, unloading your problems or anything else for that matter. When a woman appears too pushy, a man feels like a lion that's been caged. They say if you were to throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, it would naturally jump right out, but that if the frog were put into water he likes, then little by little the temperature was increased, the frog would not budge even though he's now being cooked. Be the same way with a man. A man may want to get into a relationship but needs to be eased into it, or slow boiled over time. Use the time to find out all you can about him.
Taken from the new book Guy Logic,
Copyright 2003.
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