advice

Guy Logic.com SM

Guy Rules

Guy Tips

Guy Places

Guy Links

Guy Advice

'Guy Logic,' the book

Letters-to-the-editor@guylogic.com

Guy Turn Ons & Offs

UPDATE: My husband and I have been married only 8 months and already our sex life has hit an all time low. I consider myself an attractive woman and have happily dressed in sexy lingerie, memorized the Kama Sutra, and even brought some fun toys in the mix (I am very open minded). It's just not working. He's either "too tired" or "not in the mood" (give me a break, this is supposed to be my excuse). What is his problem? If it is like this 8 months down the road, what will it be like 8 years down the road? Help me! What's your phone number!!!???!!! I do make house calls, you know!...just kidding! You know how you hear some women say, "I give (or gave) 110% and got nothing for it!" This is kind of the vibe I am picking up from your letter. While you sound like a well of generosity (giving that much) I'd say that THAT 110% is probably the mistake you're making. Anything that is given too much and too easily is never appreciated and becomes dull and taken for granted. #2. He may not like the idea that there seems to be a reversal of roles (you chasing him for sex versus him doing the chasing). Generally speaking, I would suggest that with any need of his, including sex, that you only give it 80 to 90% of the time. The remaining balance, you are politely unavailable. Yes, I always say "Give him plenty of sex!" but if the guy winds up oversexed as I'm guessing might be the case here, he's gotten his fill and he's become too complacent. Be a little more hard to get; not impossible, but challenging. So, try this out for a few weeks (won't work overnight but you've got time) and, ofcourse, make sure you are the only one meeting his need.
Hi there! Remember me? I was the depraved newlywed chasing my husband for sex and he would not give in. Well, I decided to take your advice and let off of him for a few weeks. It wasn't easy for me to do, but I must tell you, it paid off. He has been coming home with sexy lingerie, fun new toys, an eager attitude, and best of all, a great big "you know what." :) Not only is the sex phenomenal, but our relationship has improved. You have no idea how much you've helped...thanks for everything! Warmest regards, Tiffany

Contact

Dedication

History

Testimonials

Thanks

Prior Letters

I am going to try to make this short as possible. I am 40 and the guy is 46. I met him at my daughters school. He was always around me when I came to pick her up, I never gave it much thought till one day he did something and a light went off in my head. From that day on I noticed he was interested in me, were ever I was he was there He would meet me out side so we could talk alone. Try to get me to bake cookies for him, tease me . Put it this way if we were in 1st grade together I would be bruised from head to toe from him throwing snow balls at me. Well when the Osborn's started he offered to tape the show every week for me he knew I do not have cable. A guy never does things for you if he could care less. So then for being so nice I did make him his cookies. We kept doing little things like that for each other. A good friend of his told me to ask him to do something, he has not dated in years and years. So I asked him if he would like to do something some time. Well he was like a deer caught in head lights. Told me to call him I asked what his number was and he said it is in the book I said ok what is your last name he replied it is in the book, I just looked at him and said forget it if you don’t' want to do something just tell me it is no big deal,(nicely) and walked out , he followed me out asking me all kinds of questions. Well then he called me a month or so later out of the blue and we chatted nothing ever happened. When school was over for the summer he moped around telling people how he missed me and watched for me to see if I was coming to visit. Then he stared ridding by my work after his work ( I work out side) Then stopping to bring me Ozzy that was our connection. I was told again to ask him to do something so I did and we ended up going to the car show together. After that he made me a mixed CD (that took him a long time) So I baked him a pie I knew he would love to say think you. He called all the time we talked he stopped by on his motorcycle different time that summer. School School started it went on still no date or nothing. Then for Christmas we made each other things. He came over for dinner and a movie and then things stopped. He was in a bad divorce about 12 years ago and has been raising his daughter from the age of 4 to now 15. But what I do not understand is I can tell he still likes me when ever I do come around to see the others he is right there. He calls me and invited me to a party with all our friends last weekend and he could not keep his eyes of me were ever I was he knew it and what I was doing when he thinks I can't see him he stares at me looking me up and down. But still acts like there is nothing there. So then why does he tell me in conversation 5 different times you should come and see my snake (a pet) And you I got a new chair this and that. But if I was to bring up coming over he backs off. So why does he keep acting like this? If he likes me then why not act on it if not then why keep calling me and inviting me to stuff. If he was not interested he would not look at me like that. He emails me and when he does not see me for a while writes to me asking but the second I write I do not hear form him. ??? Help confused We have never kissed or held hands.
You call that short!??! I got older just reading it. Speaking of ages, the whole thing struck me as completely juvenile. Like when you are a kid, and you like someone but you don't want anyone to know so to overcompensate for the embarrassment, you're actually hostile to the kid you like. It could be that he's been burned so badly that he doesn't want to or doesn't know how to proceed. Or he could have a hangup or dysfunction that he's afraid will emerge as things progress with you. I knew a guy once that was extremely skilled at getting women's phone numbers but would rarely call or take it further than phone conversation. We nick named him Phone-nova (from Casanova). I never understood why until I learned that he would change in the lockeroom with a towel over his clothes. You can guess the rest. I think he likes you but frankly 46 is a bit old to be acting terminally shy so I'm leaning towards a bit of an oddity over eccentricity. Assuming that is not the case, I suggest you show him a good time but leave him wanting more. Seems to be the theme of all the letters from you ladies lately. What is it with Mid West Ladies? I need to move there.

Enough! I should stick with Nice!

Disclaimer: The advice given here is for entertainment and general advice purposes. It does not constitute a substitute for professional psychological counseling.

'Guy Logic - A Manual for Greater Success with Men'
is available at these and wherever paperbacks are sold!

Just click!

Compare and save! Direct from the publisher!

Or call toll free 1-888-795-4274

and in Canada

Prior Letters

When sending in your stories or questions, please give a good detailing of the statistics. For example, in describing you and your Guy, tell us the ages, background, etc. so we can get a better picture about the kind of Guy you are describing. We will change the names of the parties to protect personal privacy.